Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
