Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
