Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize