U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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