Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
