I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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