I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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