i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
