So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize