Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
