girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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