I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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