Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im six kinds of drunk right now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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