I got her a Nickelback box set.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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