Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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