good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
