Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
