are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
