Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
