he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
