apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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