just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
