Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
