i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
