girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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