we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize