Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
