Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
