He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
