You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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