office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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