thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
