my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
