I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
