i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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