; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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