Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
