Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
