Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
