And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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