so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
