His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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