Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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