also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
