Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
