I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she peed on how many people?
i came on her dog
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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