where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
