Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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