He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
