You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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