oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
