Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think a kid would responsible me up
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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