Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
