you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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