If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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