Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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