dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
