Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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